16 January 1999 - 9:04pm
I sat in the rain tonight and watched the lightning. It was an
exciting and beautiful moment. I love watching lightning. It's awe
inspiring watching the forces of nature at work. Listening to the
sound of thunder, watching the electricity arc. Incredible.
I started moving this evening, and something amazing happened. I
discovered some old photos of myself... With one of them I
couldn't believe what I saw. I knew that I was thin at the time,
but I didn't realise how thin! I decided to put three portraits in
here, to show the changes I experienced over ten years.
As you can see, 1992 was
obviously a bad year for me. I look at that photo and all these
memories of that period of my life return to me.
I was a salesperson for Kirby vacuum cleaners from mid 1990
through to the end of 1991, and then I was sales manager for Kirby
up until mid 1992. For that two years, I was a commission-only
salesperson, and believe me when I say it was bloody hard. I
didn't eat very well, because I didn't earn enough money. There
were moments when I earnt a great deal, but those moments were
overshadowed by the longer periods when I didn't earn a cent. I've
known what it's like to starve, and to not know when my next meal
would be. The photo tells it all.
Why did I stick with it for two years? All because of a woman. I
was in love with Samantha, who worked there as well. She was a
little more successful than I, but she also knew what it was like
to starve. It was her, and my persistence, which kept me at it for
two years. Eventually I gave up and left, but that was after
everything finished between Sam and I.
Memories. So many stories.
Walking around in the rain on freezing days.
Being sick with a cold for 3-4 months and still working
The anguish of cancelled sales, meaning that the money I was
expecting that week never came (a common event).
Being in love with Sam, and the joys of being in her
Knowing that she never loved me and was using me, but putting up
with it anyway because at least I had her attention.
Travelling to conventions in Sydney by plane and by bus.
Going out to nightclubs 2-3 times a week until 7am in the morning
then starting work again at 11am.
13-hour days, 6 days a week, for two years.
Losing old friends. Gaining new friends. Losing new friends (the
staff turnover rate in Kirby is probably the highest in the world.
The average length of time someone stayed in Kirby was about 2
Discovering the 'joys' of marijuana...
Having a cop knock on your apartment door looking for another
apartment, knowing the only reason he knocked is because he could
smell the dope, and your friend sitting opposite with a crazed
look on his face as he sits with his back to the cop...
The realisation that after 6 months of smoking dope I didn't need
it anymore (and haven't touched it since).
Knowing that the only friends I had were my other sales team
members, and spending two years of my life working, playing and
living with them.
Losing my virginity when I eventually found the confidence to go
'all the way' with a woman, but having it be an embarrassing
situation because all I could think about was Samantha.
Going out with a fellow salesperson (Katie) who ended up being a
witch and changing my life from that of an atheist to a
If I had to pick out one reason why that two years was worth it,
it would be having met Katie and having my life changed like that.
However, there are other reasons why that was all worth it, and
it's for these reasons which I'm glad I stuck with it for two
Finding my self esteem and confidence.
Realising that I had absolute control over my life.
Learning what it's like to have no money and no food for weeks at
Discovering that anyone can be successful if they put their mind
What a pity that I never practiced that lesson back then. I was a
bad seller of vacuum cleaners.
I often think back on my past, and I usually end up feeling
absolutely fantastic about my life today. It's only because of my
past that I am this way today, and for that I have no regrets
about anything. I am a result of my experiences, and I'm glad that
I've had those experiences. Who would I be today if I had
different experiences? I'd very likely be still in Adelaide doing
something completely different than web page design, because it
was only through Kirby that I met a woman who I followed to
Life is incredible. I love it. I love the twists and turns, the
uncertainties, the excitement of not knowing what's going to
happen next, but looking forward to it anyway. Life is what we
make it, and I plan on making it wonderful.