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 The Journal of Alan Howard

Wednesday - 26th September 2001 - 12:49am

A new relationship...
Healing is what I've been doing.  The past few months have been quite interesting, particularly in the past few weeks.  Since splitting up with Venus 3 months ago, I've been taking time out for myself, going through a lot of those issues that have really needed to be dealt with.  This has involved talking to my friends, reading Mars & Venus Starting Over, and thinking a lot about myself and my past relationships.

When Venus and I split up, I had to work out why it didn't work, and I discovered that it didn't work because I hadn't dealt with the issues I had from the separation with Michelle.  Then I discovered that the relationship with Michelle didn't work because I hadn't dealt with the issues I still had from the separation with Missy, back in January 2000.  I hadn't fully gone through the grieving process associated with losing her before I got involved with Michelle.  I should have waited and sorted myself out, and then things would have been a lot healthier in my next relationship, whether it was with Michelle or someone else.

So now I'm taking the time to heal what I should have healed one and a half years ago.  

It's been really quite refreshing to not be interested in meeting any women for the purpose of a relationship, which is the only reason I used to meet them in the past.  This past few months has been about establishing a relationship with myself, instead of looking for it elsewhere.  I know there's still a lot of work to be done on this new relationship I'm building with the me that I've been ignoring or suppressing, but it's really an exciting part of my life right now. 



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2001 Alan Howard