Journal of Alan Howard
Wednesday - 26th September 2001 -
A new relationship...
Healing is what I've been
doing. The past few months have been quite interesting,
particularly in the past few weeks. Since splitting up
with Venus 3 months ago, I've been taking time out for myself, going through
a lot of those issues that have really needed to be dealt with.
This has involved talking to my friends, reading Mars &
Venus Starting Over, and thinking a lot about myself and my past
When Venus and I split up, I had to work out why it didn't work,
and I discovered that it didn't work because I hadn't dealt with
the issues I had from the separation with Michelle. Then I
discovered that the
relationship with Michelle didn't work because I hadn't dealt
with the issues I still had from the separation with Missy, back
in January 2000. I hadn't fully gone through the grieving
process associated with losing her before I got involved with
Michelle. I should have waited and sorted myself out, and
then things would have been a lot healthier in my next
relationship, whether it was with Michelle or someone
So now I'm taking the time to heal what I should
have healed one and a half years ago.
It's been really quite refreshing to not be interested in
meeting any women for the purpose of a relationship, which is
the only reason I used to meet them in the past. This past
few months has been about establishing a relationship with myself,
instead of looking for it elsewhere. I know there's still
a lot of work to be done on this new relationship I'm building
with the me that I've been ignoring or suppressing, but it's
really an exciting part of my life right now.